Look, we believed it when Courtney Stodden became a vegetarian because she didn’t want to “eat anything with a face.” That made sense to us. We believed it when she writhed around on her kitchen linoleum in an attempt to make “floor flashing” happen. We use Twitter; it could have caught on. We even believed it when she married Doug Hutchison despite the fact that she’s a minor and he’s that scary liver-eating guy from The X-Files. Fine! Sure! We accept the things we cannot change, but we cannot suspend our disbelief any longer when we see Courtney Stodden hack up a hair ball and eat cat food while dressed as Hello Kitty in the video she posted today. We cannot abide such a violation to our sense of logic. This has to be a part of her fine arts dissertation, right? Or at least one epically convoluted episode of Punk’d? If not, we have past beyond the bonds of reality and into Courtney’s world!

Now, it would be one kind of unsettling thing if our favorite teenage bride just acted like a sexy cat and dubbed in meowing later. But when she shuffles her Lucite stilettos around in that litter box? Courtney deserves an A on the performance art thesis she’s been crafting this entire time. A grad school project would make a lot of sense, wouldn’t it? A lot more sense than what appears to be actually happening?

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Will Smith slaps Ukrainian reporter Vitalii Sediuk

We were happy to end our week with this ridiculous image of Will Smith backhanding a Ukrainian reporter who attempted to kiss him at the Moscow premiere of Men in Black III. But then the story got even better. After TMZ posted the video of the incident, which just made us feel much better about every awkward encounter we’ve ever experienced on the red carpet (sooo embarrassing when actors stare blankly at you for asking a question about vampires), we started to dig around to figure out who this reporter was. The site said kissing actors is his shtick. And we found something sooo much better than some guy pulling a Borat impression with unsuspecting Hollywood stars. We are almost certain that the man in question is none other than Vitalii Sediuk. OK, sorry, that name meant nothing to us either. Until we dug a little further and discovered he is the guy who gave Madonna those dreaded hydrangeas at the Venice Film Festival last year. Watch both videos below and we think you’ll be convinced too.


My first instinct is to thank Vitalii, for making the rest of us reporters look good. My second is to want to backhand him ourself. I can just see stars starting to put up plexiglass barricades between themselves and us. When all we really wanted to do is find out whether they prefer True Blood or Twilight.

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Eva Longoria, Diane Kruger, And More Wear Low Cut Gowns To Cannes

The 65th annual Cannes Film Festival is now in full swing, and some of the biggest stars in the world have flown across the pond to strut their stuff in the riviera sun! We’ve already brought you the most incredible styles of the opening day, but the celebs are definitely not running low on daring styles. We’re starting to wonder if there was some kind of dress memo, because lately a large number of lovely ladies have been venturing out in veryyy low-cut gowns. From actresses Eva Longoria and Diane Kruger, to rocker mom Jada Pinkett Smith and model Eva Herzigova, these past few days at Cannes have been brought to you by the letter “V.” You know, as in “deep v-necked.” Check out more plunging necklines and other fashion favorites in the gallery below!

[Photo: Getty Images]

 

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Ladies, gird your loins. The latest Magic Mike trailer is out, and it contains no small amount of greased-up thrusting from the collectively abtastic Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer and Matthew McConaughey. We painstakingly borderline-inappropriately-gleefully created this GIF wall to kickoff the weekend of our beloved (and hopefully equally as pervy) readers. Enjoy!

Full trailer post-GIFs.

- Lauren Olson

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Daniel Racliffe Wants A Part In Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio

When the man behind Pan’s Labyrinth and The Orphanage decides to make a 3-D stop-motion Pinocchio remake, you just know it’s going to be a lot more odd and unsettling than the classic Disney kids movie. So why not add a dash of Daniel Radcliffe and make it downright bizarre? Director Guillermo Del Toro bragged to an audience at the Cannes Film Festival this week that the Harry Potter star expressed an interest in “getting involved” in the film, presumably as the voice of the wooden boy himself. Did we mention singer Tom Waits is probably going to be Geppetto? Sure, why wouldn’t he be? Makes those creepy, donkey-riddled Pleasure Island scenes in the Disney Pinocchio seem downright normal! Just kidding, of course! That island will haunt us forever. Why were those boys all smoking cigars? That ain’t right!

Del Toro is also hoping to snag Christopher Walken for the film’s malevolent fox villain. The director vowed that movie would be way more faithful to the original story, ”more surreal and slightly darker” and would be set in Italy between the World Wars. Because why wouldn’t he go all out with the desolate, terrifying aspect of a heartwarming fairytale? The Blue Fairy is going to be some sort of horrible mantis, isn’t she? Isn’t she, Del Toro?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Matthew Fox Gets Ripped For Alex Cross

Um, is this real life? We guess we were so distracted by Matthew Fox‘s DUI earlier this month that we failed to notice that the actor had slowly turned into a hyper-sinewy street fighter. Seriously, look at him. Now look at a photo of him from earlier this spring. We have to think some of that shreddedness must be CGI or color-corrected beef jerky or something because how can a human being get that jacked and still have functioning organs? Let alone be drinking?

That being said, we are truly psyched to see the Lost actor flexing his acting muscles/every other muscle in his body for the upcoming crime thriller Alex Cross, due out October 26. It’s been two years since the hit ABC mystery drama ended and Fox last had a role; playing a serial killer named Picasso across from Tyler Perry‘s titular detective seems like the perfect way to step back into the limelight. Oh, and we have to wonder…was Fox this cut when he allegedly punched that party bus diver in the groin last November? We hope not. That would be the worst cause of death to have to put in your obituary.

[Photo: /Films]

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Eva Longoria

Well someone hit up her dress designer before the Cannes
Film Festival.

Check out Eva Longoria, stunning the crowd in white…

Then she left an entire trail of admirers with this one….

There is seriously no tripping up her style… Actually, she
has a crew to make sure of that.

Oh you thought she was done? Nope, thrills with frills.

Diane Kruger also stunned the crowd, trying to “teal the
deal” as best dressed on the red.

But if light and long didn’t do it… How about this dark and
short one? 




Eva Longoria
Diane Kruger
Eva Longoria
Diane Kruger




Splash

 
JM

Oh hey Jenny McCarthy! Heard you’re going to be in Playboy
again!

Wait… A 39-year-old on the cover of Playboy? You might think
that’s a stretch…

But check her out! The former Playmate of the Year looks
great, and she’ll be gracing the pages of the July/August 2012 issue.

Plus, Jenny is a sight for sore eyes compared to some of the
other rumored candidates…

This might burn… But we’re talking Tanning Mom, Patricia Krenctil… 


JM
JM
JM




Splash

 

Taylor Kitsch, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker and Alexander Skarsgard promote Battleship

So, Peter Berg’s Battleship is finally out in the U.S. today. We have been waiting for this moment ever since the cast was announced — and sounded like basically the best-looking cast ever assembled. Alexander Skarsgard, Taylor Kitsch, Brooklyn Decker and Rihanna together in the same movie? Our eyes could hardly believe their luck. Except, well, the reviews are making us second-guess our excitement. It’s got a 36 percent rating on RottenTomatoes.com, with a lot of critics complaining, well, that it’s a loud war movie about aliens and battleships. Well, if you’re on the fence still, or if you absolutely know that loud war movies about alien invasions aren’t your bag, we have an alternative for you. This magnificent gallery of the most beautiful cast ever assembled doing their best to promote the hell out of the flick all over the globe, on magazines ranging from Elle to Men’s Health to something called Stayhard (maybe that means something else in Swedish). However the movie turns out, it will have achieved everything we could ever want: It made these stars get in front of a lot of cameras all spring long.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Raven Symone Rumored To Be Dating AzMarie Livingston

As actress Raven Symone has made abundantly clear, the definition of what is or is not so Raven changes almost everyday. According to recent rumors, however, allegedly having a lesbian relationship with America’s Next Top Model: British Invasion contestant AzMarie Livingston might be the most Raven thing of all. Earlier this week The National Enquirer started some rumors regarding the Cosby star’s lady-oriented love life. “She’s at a point now where she doesn’t care what her family thinks, and she’s in love with AzMarie,” their source claimed. “She’s a lesbian and wants to live that way. She feels her parents are still trying to treat her like she’s a kid, and she’s told them she’s going to do what she wants.” Sounds about right. Yup, this story just gets more and more Raven with ever new detail!

So is the gossip true? Raven, who is currently killing it on Broadway in the lead role of Sister Act, took to her Twitter this afternoon to…well, not to deny it, that’s for sure. “I’m living my PERSONAL life the way I’m happiest. I’m not one, in my 25 year career to disclose who I’m dating. and I shall not start now,” Symone tweeted. “My sexual orientation is mine, and the person I’m datings to know. I’m not one for a public display of my life.” Dating a model and telling us mind our own business in the classiest, most dignified way possible? Would that the entire world could be half so Raven!

[Photo: Getty Images/Facebook]

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